Lost...

Well, here goes.

My father convinced me to start a blog so as to damper boredom. I've been home after graduating for almost a week now. My original plan was to relax for a month before doing anything, but apparently I'm no good at relaxing. I've already been searching for a job, cleaning, looking at used cars, and mostly just being bored. There goes my plan.

But the real reason I agreed to start a blog was to have an outlet for some of the life-altering musings I've been having for the last two years. Since April 2009, my life has taken a radical turn (we're yet to see if it is for the better). I no longer want to be perfect, and I no longer want to serve a God who wants me to be perfect. I've come to see that living that way was only making me crazy - almost literally. Since that night in 2009, I have been trying to learn who I really am instead of who "they" have told me to be my whole life. I have always been the perfect student and the perfect Christian. The one all my friends looked up to (or so I thought). But all of that perfection just ended up making me tired, anxious, and loveless. My process of change has been very slow, but this blog might just help me along a bit faster.